Dearest Mother,

How do I start? I know so little about you. Obviously, you were beautiful
because my sister, Betty, looks just like you. Dear Mother, I never knew
the kiss of a mother the way you might have kissed me had you lived
beyond my birth. As a youngster, I never saw a smile nor heard laughter
in our home, but if you had been there I just know it would have been
a home filled with joy and happiness. I would have told the whole
world that my mother loves me. I'm sure that, had I known you, I would
have learned the facts of life properly in the right order of things and
would have married much earlier than age 29 and would never have
led such a troubled life. I wouldn't have held such an unbalanced
shyness and fear of men because you would have taught me how to
get along with everyone.

I would have shown you school report cards that would have made
you very proud of me. I would have introduced you to my first girl-friend
and you would have said just the right words I needed to hear.
You would have loved your daughter-in-law and been pleased with
the job I would have held onto for years and years.

You would have adored Lori, Mark and Dennis as I do and would
have prayed for them everyday, too. I'm sure that the nightmares I've had
all my life from my father instilling in me would never have happened if you
had lived. I always knew that you died for me, but the way my father
said it, I felt like a murderer until today.

I am writing this letter in a treatment centre for drug addicts and alcoholics.
I am convinced finally that you gave your life so I could live.

Good-bye, Dearest Mother, I have never forgotten you and never will.

 “You are always on my mind!”

With deepest love,

Your son.